The Butler For Your Butt

Have you ever wanted to the bathroom fancy? How about feeling like you've been waited on? Well, here is a fancy decoration for the toilet of any self respecting person with a dream. A dream of sitting on a butler anytime you have to relieve yourself. That's the American dream.

For a small monetary fund you can give the Butt'd Butler as a Christmas gift, birthday, Easter, Memorial day, Veterans day, Labor day and even on regular days. EVERYONE would love to have it, guaranteed (unless they lack humor! Take that humorous humor-less people of the world!). So, if you want to give a wonderful gift, send out the Toilet Seat Butler. It's just in time for the Holidays.

Ronco All Night With Jerky

According to Ronald Reagan, beef is a dish best served jerked. Okay, so Ronald Reagan may not have actually alluded to jerky in his presidential inauguration speech, but he would have. Okay, so he might not have but also jerky is delicious.
If you are like me and you really love beef jerky, then the Ronco Giant Food Dehydrator may be just what the doctor prescribed! Not only does it dehydrate beef, but also turkey, fish, fruits (including watermellons) and also makes yogurt (not dehydrated)! If I had enough money for this, I would order it overnight. I'm telling you, if Jesus wanted to dry out his meats and fruits, he would use the Ronco Giant Food Dehydrator!
Go here and buy one today!
http://www.popeilfamilystore.com/fd10.html

It's a Potty Patch!

A few days ago I was sitting on my couch at home and watching TV when the commercial for the Potty Patch came on. Man, I thought, who would spend money on a fake piece of carpet for their dog to pee on when they can just send them outside?
AND THEN IT HIT ME LIKE A BALL AGAINST A WALL!!!! I didn't feel like getting up to let me dog out. I was now the lazy one! I was now the American consumer buying unnecessary oddities because I was too lazy! Okay, I didn't buy because I'm really cheap and really, I don't need it.
The info: The Potty Patch is like grass for youe dog just in stays in your house. Its plastic and says that it doesn't have oders stick to it. It is supposedly easy to clean, and "great for the winter when the snow is too cold for your pets." In the video all of these lovely positvies to the Potty Patch can be seen, so watch it!

Paperoni: fun for kids, or not.

I wonder what the creators behind Paperoni were thinking when they came up with this bright idea. I have a feeling it went something like this: The creator, we shall call him Paper Pumpernickle, was relaxing in his bed after a long day at the bead factory. He was thinking back to that days earlier work, which was rolling up glass to make beads when the idea dawned on him like most great inventions. "If I take paper and roll it up like a bead, I can market it to children! They can stick it together using an adheisive piece of plastic paper and make shapes and animals with it! Wow, am I smart or what. No one ever though of this before."
Too bad he was wrong, it was thought of before and honestly, who wants to stick paper on paper? That isn't fun at all. Too bad Paper Pumpernickle thought otherwise because he infected our televisions with the broadcast of this mindless form of self expression. It doesn't make art, you can't be creative with it, and quite frankly anyone from a three year old to someone's ninety year old grandmother can do it. But hey, if you want to buy your kids something they will hate (instead of something cool like a super-soaker) go ahead, be my guest, do whatever you so chose but remember, they will not enjoy playing with colorful rolls of paper.
Of course, if you want to see it for yourself here is the video:

The Bacon Wave

The Bacon Wave; is it worth the money?

Almost everyone adores bacon, but who could adore the mess that comes with cooking in fat and grease? Don't answer that, it was a rhetorical question. But there is an answer to the bacon cooking problems of the world; the Bacon Wave.


So you want to cook large quantities of bacon at the same time? You can do that! You want bacon that has less fat, calories, and cholesterol? You can get that! Do you want to cook your bacon without having to watch it the entire time? You can do that too! And in addition to being able to cook FOURTEEN pieces of bacon at the same time, you can stack them to cook a total of TWENTY-EIGHT pieces at the same time! That's a lot of bacon.


Unfortunately, the Bacon Wave doesn't always work. Sometimes the plastic melts onto the bacon, and no one likes to eat plasticy bacon. There are also the plethora of complaints about the prongs breaking off, the bacon sticking together, and the bacon taking way way way too long to cook. I myself have not tried this piece of bacon cooking machinery, but amazon.com's reviews of it place it as a waste instead of an efficient bacon cooker.


What a shame that there may not be the perfect answer to cooking bacon. Hopefully, the world will be able to move on....




or not.....

Will Orange Glo Continue to Sell?

We all know that with the death of our beloved TV spokesman Billy Mays, the products he endorsed would suffer in sales. Since then, Orange Glo has replaced his high energy and exciting commercials with a bland, boring, and uptight woman's voice. She is not even shown doing crazy stunts like sanding a hardwood floor! He would do anything to make a sale, and with the new pitch being lazy about the joy that is Orange Glo, well I don't see them selling much in the future. In case you forgot the joy of the original commercials, here's a flashback:

Unfortunately (or is it fortunate?) I was unable to find the new commercial for comparison, but really, it not great. GO ORANGE GLO! THE STUFF FOR YOUR HARDWOOD THAT CAN MAKE IT SHINE (AS LONG AS BILLY MAYS IS SELLING IT)